What a Week...

Well... geez! Where to begin! Well obviously our New Year's started off with a bang! Literally! We shot skeet on new years day... over 500 shells were shot. (Not even joking! 100 were my own! Ouch!) We had a blast.

New Year's day also brought an unexpected guest! Girls... you guessed it! AF showed her ugly face and crushed yet another month's dream of becoming parents. Life sometimes isn't fair it seems! I started another round of Femara so this is month 4. They stop you on month 5. I don't know where we will go from there if it takes another month. If it is In Vitro Fertilization, Kenny and I can't financially make that decision. We have totally put our prayers and dreams of becoming parents into the hands of God. We know that children are a blessing (the Bible tells us so!), and we also know that the Lord knows the desires of our hearts and that He will bless us with those desires if He sees fit. We know that God will give us children, we just know that, it's just a matter of when He sees it fit. That's the hard part. It's not unusual for us to be impatient and "Human" about things. We can't help but be selfish and want things that others have (i.e. children) but I also think that our Lord is an understanding Lord who felt the same emotions we feel because after all, Jesus was human too. The Bible says that Jesus hurt, cried, smiled, laughed, and felt all normal human feelings. I think that maybe the Lord is testing us... our patience, our faith, our commitment to our marriage and to each other, our Love, etc. The Lord won't give us more than we can handle, but there are times (especially at the end of month after month!) that I just pray and cry and tell the Lord... God I will love you even if you choose not to give us kids, but God just let this hurt be eased. After we lost the baby in July, I finally came to peace with it. I knew that something terrible would have been wrong with it and that God knew that I couldn't have handled it. The Lord has a funny way of dealing with things, but they are always for our best intrest. I just pray that soon God will give us our miracle, and I know that our children are up in heaven waiting for God to say... "okay, it's time to go meet your parents!" in my mind that's how things work. The Lord already has our children with him just waiting for the opportunity to say okay, I think that you're parents are going to be ready to meet you on Earth. That's comforting to me, to know that God already has it all planned. (Sometimes I just wish he would hurry it up already! Ha!)

Prayers are needed for us.... prayers for patience and love, for faith and for courage, prayers for hope and for healing.


Also this week, my Grandpa had open heart surgery to have a valve replaced that was placed there 19 years ago. He made it through the surgery just fine (Praise Jesus!) I was deeply concerned a few weeks ago when they said he was going to have to have the valve replaced, mainly because him and my Grandma weren't saved. I was so scared something would go wrong and he wouldn't have had time to make peace with God. We've been praying for years for them to come to church and finally they started coming. Well 3 weeks ago tomorrow BOTH of my grandparents were saved!!!!! Hallelujah!!!!! We were so happy, and it just proves that God is still on the throne! He still listens and answers prayers (that gave us hope that He would soon answer our prayers about children!!) . He's healing well and now it is just going to take a lot of recovery and down time. (I thought that this was an awesome PRAISE report!)

I hope that the new year will bring everyone blessings and a chance to strive to get closer to God.

Now off to bed to get ready for Julie's 2nd birthday tomorrow! :'-( She's growing up so fast!