Friday, August 15, 2014

Life... At the current time

Well, well, well. Here it's been over a year that I blogged last. There have been happy times and sad times. Times when I wanted to stop time and times where I want to run away. 

I'm needing the release from blogging. I need a place to put my thoughts. These past few months particularly have been rough for our family. Not as rough as some people have it but it's pretty much bottom of the barrel for us. 

I've been having some real issues with my faith because of all this mess too. Why won't god help us climb through this nightmare and then continue to "bless" other people who don't even work half as hard as we do. What is it? What do we do so wrong to deserve the things that have been happening to us recently. Yes, yes I know... Why would a person think like that? Well frankly, because I have had enough. I don't know what God is trying to prove right now to us, but trust me I'm seeing things loud and clear. I suppose it is normal to feel like this when things just don't seem like they will get any better, but I am getting pretty frustrated that a God whom I thanked and prayed to fervently all these years can now feel so far from me. I feel abandoned. I hate the way it is making me feel towards myself, my husband, my kids, my family. I just hate it. I will keep on praying and I will keep on holding to the promise that things will get better. If you are reading this I ask for your prayers. I ask that you will have God show himself to me like I know he can. Maybe, like scripture says, if two or more are joined together in prayer for this that God will have no choice but to hear our cry loud and clear. I know this is just another valley, but it is starting to feel like a canyon instead. (Sorry for the poor me type post, but I have to get this off my chest.)