Sunday, June 26, 2011

Oh my... where to begin.

Well, yesterday I started off having a bad day! Ugh... then as the day progressed it just got worse, along with my mood I might add. Anyways, it came time for bed and I was mad, mad at Kenny, mad that things just weren't going my way, mad that I just seem to have nothing but bad luck and that sometimes I just need to catch a break somewhere sometime. Well needless to say God made myself see this break very soon right as I was going to bed. I had already put my two sweet babies in bed with little fight at all out of them both! Kenny leaned over gave me a quick/pitty peck and said his usal goodnight,and I lay there just thinking and to be quite frank, feeling sorry for myself. Just as I started drifting off to sleep I learned real quick just how lucky I am. I started bawling. My heart ached, not for me anymore, but for all the families that I know/or have been following lately. One, my children are perfect in every way, health, happiness, you name it they have it. I'm lucky right there in so many more ways than many. I have been praying so very hard for the Woodruff Family lately, no I don't personally know them, but my friend Holly worked at the bank the Daddy works for. Anyways, their baby boy Miller passed away last week due to a muscualr disease. Oh dear Lord, Please just lay your healing hands upon that family. Reading her blog just breaks my heart. I know I could never handle something like that. I just couldn't. Realization number 1... Thank you dear God... thank you so VERY much for the health of my precious children. Please, never let me take one single second of that for granted. :( Also I am so quick to forget how healthy my children are. Our friends Jeff and Holly had to have their sweet little baby girl Emry born on March 21st... I remember that day because it was the week Ryan was in the hospital with RSV. She just got to come home a couple of weeks ago and is such a fighter. Sweet little Emry was born weighing a whopping 1 lb. 3oz. The doctors didn't give her much hope but look at what God can do! ANYTHING... even pevail when doctors say there is no chance! Realization number 2... I'm so very VERY sorry God. By this point and time I've cried what seems to be buckets of tears for these two families and buckets of tears to God for reminding me not to take a single day for granted. Father's day was rough this year, I didn't realize it at the time, but my Grandpa Holt was super super sick. He's had problems on and off since his first heart surgery which was back in 1993 I believe. January 2009 he almost passed away after his second heart surgery. We didn't know second by second if he was going to be with us at all. It's a good thing God answered our prayers because at the time I was pregnant with Jade after 28 months of trying for a baby and I know if he would have passed away I would have lost her. Well Father's day was just like January for us again, they didn't tell me until later in the week just how bad he was, because they know I'm the panicy princess of the family and I probably would have had a stroke but it was horrible. Thank God again, for answering prayers and for bringing my Grandpa back to health. He is still at Mercy and has a surgery for a pacemaker to be placed tomorrow morning. Please pray with us for this surgery.

Anyways, this post is a lot of rambling but all in all I realized just how blessed and lucky I am, maybe not lucky in things that happen in life, but TOTALLY lucky in family, faith, and love. That is all I need. I'm sorry lord for having a bad day, and I'm sorry for not opening my eyes far enough to see just how much I have!