Life... At the current time

Well, well, well. Here it's been over a year that I blogged last. There have been happy times and sad times. Times when I wanted to stop time and times where I want to run away. 

I'm needing the release from blogging. I need a place to put my thoughts. These past few months particularly have been rough for our family. Not as rough as some people have it but it's pretty much bottom of the barrel for us. 

I've been having some real issues with my faith because of all this mess too. Why won't god help us climb through this nightmare and then continue to "bless" other people who don't even work half as hard as we do. What is it? What do we do so wrong to deserve the things that have been happening to us recently. Yes, yes I know... Why would a person think like that? Well frankly, because I have had enough. I don't know what God is trying to prove right now to us, but trust me I'm seeing things loud and clear. I suppose it is normal to feel like this when things just don't seem like they will get any better, but I am getting pretty frustrated that a God whom I thanked and prayed to fervently all these years can now feel so far from me. I feel abandoned. I hate the way it is making me feel towards myself, my husband, my kids, my family. I just hate it. I will keep on praying and I will keep on holding to the promise that things will get better. If you are reading this I ask for your prayers. I ask that you will have God show himself to me like I know he can. Maybe, like scripture says, if two or more are joined together in prayer for this that God will have no choice but to hear our cry loud and clear. I know this is just another valley, but it is starting to feel like a canyon instead. (Sorry for the poor me type post, but I have to get this off my chest.)

It's the little things...

I have always thanked the good lord above for every blessing that has came my way. I remember those 3 1/2 years we tried to get pregnant before we had Jade that I even prayed to God thanking him for that trial and accepting that if it wasn't his will for me to have kids I would love him through it all. Today I realize that I don't thank him near enough for even the to simplest things like all the toys that are laying in the floor for me to pick up. Without those I wouldn't have my kiddos to love and squeeze on. The air I breathe I even take for granted.

We have been so blessed recently by the Gibson family and their amazing story about the adoption of sweet precious Parke Henry and even though they knew he had heart problems before his birth they were accepting and thankful for the opportunity to give him love and a family and to use his life as a testimony of god unfailing love. Sweet Parke was exactly a week older than Kinley. He went to be with Jesus after 7 weeks on this earth. I will post a link on here tomorrow to Lindsey's blog (his momma) because I have felt so much love and true faith from them. It has renewed me and helped me to see past the hustle and bustle of everyday life and to appreciate every second and to thank God for even the simplest things.

Please help me pray for this sweet family that God will bless them, hold them, and give them a peace like they have never known!

What a Crazy, Amazing, Wild Month!

This past Sunday Miss Kinley turned 1 month old. I couldn't even imagine how much faster time flies when you add another baby to the mix. It breaks my heart to see her growing so fast. She has grown a whopping 2 1/2 inches and weighs we are guessing somewhere semi close to 9 pounds... That is a very rough estimate. (We are very bad parents and haven't even weighed her in the amazing Daddy gets on the scale, steps off, grabs baby, then steps back on scale method!) She has started smiling at us when we talk to her and is attempting to want to "talk" instead of just crying. Poor thing has had serious tummy issues and even Jade has decided after a long long period of crying that she doesn't want to hear "that crying any more." Her and Ryan have been such AMAZING big siblings to their baby sister. I'm so proud of all three of them.

Life has mainly consisted of working on perfecting our schedule in a day, feeding Kinley, and breaking up the common "fights" between the Bigs! All in all we are getting the hang of things and adjusting to our even crazier life. Sorry I don't have anything exciting to post, but I wanted to give an update. Pretty boring life we have huh? ;)

Starting a NEW life officially!

So I've been reading several Mommy blogs lately and organizational blogs as well. Since we moved into our new temporary house I have really been OCD about everything having it's own place. I have really been inspired by all these different blogs and actually tackled the kids closet first. I did a really good job if I do say so myself. All I officially have left to do is buy a few more crates for the top of the closet and I'm done! I will post pictures tomorrow sometime because I'm doing this post while I'm cooking dinner. (If I get done in time I might do it tonight but I doubt that because life would not go that perfectly for me! :) )

I also have decided that since my two "big kids" are really needing the preschool skills (they definately don't lack in the social aspect of kids needing preschool since we are at a play date every week!) I am starting them in MY own preschool. If you don't know my background I taught at the same preschool I started going to when I was 4 weeks old. I worked there for over 3 years. Children are my passion! I LOVE LOVE LOVE helping children succeed when they don't think they can. In all areas, physical skills, learning goals, you name it I literally tear up seeing that excitement and just how proud they are of their little selves. My plan when I quit Happy Day was to purchase it from Ms. Carolyn. We went to the bank and everything but God didn't think that was in our plans at that time. (Also it turns out we were pregnant with Ryan at the time but didn't know it yet) I don't know if God is laying all this on my heart now as a way to get ready to maybe open this door again, but I'm listening and I'm going to for now work from home on preparing my schedule and everything just as I would at a preschool. I LOVE family childcare settings because kids see you physically cook their meals, clean your home, do the laundry etc. Skills they NEED to witness too. Anyways I'll quit rambling on that mess or I could write all night.

We have been adjusting really well to being a family of 5. I have a routine now and like I said earlier I am starting a more structured one this week. I'm totally in love with all 3 of my children and I didn't even know my heart could love so very much! I'm so excited that all 8 houses of our chickens are gone and that Kenny will finally be done with the jobs he is working on right now so we can enjoy some family outings and good old fashioned outside fun! I'm going to start walking until I'm released to start my running back up again so here's your warning I will be posting about my exercising and Zumba returning soon! (like around the 28th of February! LOL!) I'm ready to be back in shape and back to the size I was pre Kinley! I did work really hard after all!

Kinley's Newborn Pics... well some anyways!

I am so beyond blessed and thankful that our sweet friend Holly started her photography business a little over a year ago. Corinthian's House Photography is her business. You can find her on facebook! She really is fabulous and so passionate about capturing those precious shots of family, newborns, you name it she will do all she possibly can to make it the most special time of your life!

So far Kinley is doing pretty good for us as a baby. She is still sleeping a lot during the day but she stays awake a lot in the morning time. She gets up twice in the night to eat but goes right back to sleep after she finishes her bottles. Her brother and sister LOVE her! Seriously as soon as they wake up they come straight to her bed or right up to her and say "Good Morning Baby Sister" Ryan won't leave her alone most of the time. When we try to do tummy time he is right there by her. Jade really likes to help take care of her as well. She was a HUGE help during my 5 days of down time recovering from my c-section. Well Kenny made me not do much for 5 days. I have actually done just as well if not better this time around. I've vacuumed the whole house today and steam mopped the floors, cleaned the bathrooms from top to bottom and fixed an enormous dinner for us! I think being told I can't do something makes this Momma try harder!

Anyways, we are all doing well and adjusted just fine. I was a little worried about it considering I haven't been on anxiety meds since a week before she was born due to them making me so sleepy all of a sudden. I didn't know how that would pan out since this past week was a year my grandpa has been gone, Ryan's 2nd birthday, and all kinds of appointments to check incisions, Ryan's 2 year well child, and Kinley's weight check. I feel like the post partum is almost all gone, except the occasional looking at my children and husband, and of course just my life and breaking down every now and then! We are so very blessed for sure! Here are a couple of pictures from Kinley's shoot to close out this rambling mess, but seriously who wouldn't cry when they saw this precious face! :)

A little tidbit about this picture. This Bible is Holly's Grandpa and Grandma's family Bible! When we tried for so long to have Jade we constantly lived by this verse. 1 Samuel 1:27 "For this child we prayed" Every time I have been pregnant I have prayed this prayer and of course prayed for protection for them and myself during the pregnancy. Holly is such a great friend to us she knew this would be a special shot! So proud of them both!

Kinley Elizabeth Emitt

She is here!

Kinley Elizabeth

8 lbs 3 oz.

21"

12:50pm

Hmmmm

Well today was officially my last doctors appointment pregnant. I go in for pre op next Wednesday morning and have to be at the hospital at 10:30 Thursday morning.

I'm feeling more and more uncomfortable. My legs are swollen all the time. My stomach hurts in every way possible and I'm turning into quite the cry baby.

I just want to hold this sweet little girl and know that she's ok. I want to get over this horrible cough before next week or that's going to be awesome with a fresh incision. I want a footlong chicken teriyaki sub and I want to eat it all! I want to be a good mommy to three beautiful children who will be 3 and under. I want everyone to quit giving me advice and to quit saying you are going to have your hands full. Seriously I may punch the next person in the throat! I want to cry just because. I want to start this crazy life.

And now you want me to shut the whining up and get over it already right? 😉